most frequently asked stupid questions.

Okay, I promised you a blog dedicated to the ridiculous questions I got while at TOTS. And here it is.

***fair warning for some nasty language because I am not censoring the things that stupid people say***


Let's get this bitch started.

"Are you single, spirit?"

Wow. We aren't even in first names basis yet and you're already hitting on me. I'm not even going to answer that one.

"You free tomorrow night?"

Gee, thanks for asking. But now that you ask, no. Now shut up. Seriously. Stop hitting on me.

"Are you from the Wizard of Oz?"

What do you think this is? The yellow brick road? Fuck no. This is a GRAVEYARD, not the emerald city. I don't know why this one was a big city but it was. And no, I never said "Follow the Yellow Brick Road".

"Do you give hugs?"

If you fucking touch me, I will have the grave digger run after you and make you scream like a little pussy.

"Do you wanna fuck?"

Hell no. Not with you.

"Is this the Emerald City?"

Really! Again with the Wizard of Oz crap?

"I'm not even scared. Nope. You can't scare me."

And I SWEAR ten seconds later they were screaming like little girls. And they were not girls. They were grown adults. Men.

"How long have you been dead?"

Good question. Still not answering you.

"Can you understand me?"

Yes, but I'm just choosing not to answer you.

"Is this a real graveyard?"

Do I really have to answer that one. Have you ever been to the Menard County Fair? That question was a big one. So many people our bull shit story. But if you ask any of our veterans, they will not give you a straight answer. They will chase you. I have watched people being chased out because they are just stupid.

"Are there real bodies here?"

Same reaction as above. Do you want to be the first? Because you're going to be with questions like that.

"What is your favorite color?"

Really?

"How did you die?"

I'm not even going to answer that one.

Oh, and the basic white girls. With the black leggings, a hoodie, stocking cap, and a coffee mug in your hand... You girls are so easy to scare. Stereotypical. Screaming bloody murder. Makes me laugh.

And when you comment "that wasn't scary" right in front of someone that works there, don't get mad when they scare you chasing you out of the cemetery. And we all laugh about it later. Cause we do.

Those questions are the most that I could remember. Hope you enjoyed them.


--the girl with the bird tattoo.